Monday, August 01, 2016

Abby Baby

Damn I'm old. I can't believe it has been this long since I have had any inspiration to write or update this blog. Sometimes inspiration comes when you least expect it and sometimes that inspiration can change you in ways you never, ever anticipated.

This lady here is my inspiration. She entered my life at a time when love was the last thing on my mind and things seemed to be spiraling out of control. I was at a personal crossroads in my life, where I was doubting everything from my current career path to where I wanted to live and the kind of person I wanted to be.

God works in mysterious ways because when I needed an angel, He not only sent one, but He made sure it was in the form of a gorgeous human being who could help salvage my sanity and help me find myself once again. She not only held my hand and supported me in my struggles, she also boosted me up so I would have the strength to power through some of my hardest challenges.

Abby is more than a girlfriend, she has become my best friend, my therapist, my life coach and my personal advisor. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for His gift. She has benefited my life in ways I'm not sure she will ever really know.

One fateful night I was trapped at work and the night seemed to be crawling along with no end in sight. I found myself mingling with coworkers and this petite little thing that had a smile that could light up a dark control room. I was intrigued by her spirit, her adventurous and infectious personality and all of her quirky nuances.

She regaled me with stories of epic vacations in Las Vegas and California, with twists and turns so mind-boggling I found myself doubting her honesty only to realize that she couldn't possibly make these things up. I found myself memorized by her tales that the time flew by and a night that seemed endless suddenly became fleeting.

I knew I wanted to get to know more about this girl, so I did the only reasonable thing I could think of... I asked her to go with me to a comic book store. I examined her closely as she laughed and smiled. I studied her as she thumbed through graphic novels on the shelves and I fixated on her as she walked down the aisles.

I flirted in the parking lot but my game was so weak she didn't pick up on a thing. She brushed me off as an uninterested guy who didn't know what he wanted. Little did she know I knew what I wanted and my ass had a plan.

From a night at Santa's Enchanted Forest to a day at the zoo, I found myself engrossed in all of her. I knew I wanted to trick her into dating me, and hopefully handcuff her into loving me. The plan worked because we are not only in love, we are committed to a future together.

I've had a few relationships in my life and each one has taught me lessons. I've found that love isn't easily defined and true love is even harder to attain. I'm thankful for these experiences because it has allowed me to see what I have and how valuable it truly is. I find myself truly honored to have such joy in my life, in the form of this beautiful little lady, who teases me for my body hair and OCD.

I hope she knows how much she is loved and cherished. If she doesn't, I pray that I can learn to show her each day in my every action.

I love you baby.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Joy of the Lord

As I continually seek to get closer to God, I am presented with daily revelations in my own life. Every day I find miracles, small in nature mostly but meaningful none the less. The blessings He rains on me are endless, I only have to acknowledge the source of such things. It is very often our first reaction to just accept things as they happen with the "it is what it is," mentality. Ultimately, we are not as lucky as we like to think. God directs us each separately in our individual destiny's. If we fail to embrace His constant direction we choose to miss out on His priceless redemption and goal for our lives.


I have experienced my own depths of personal pain. I have suffered through personal battles and have often found myself lost in despair. There were times I did not seek God for direction, instead I found fleeting satisfaction at the bottom of a bottle. In recent days I have been actively seeking God for my purpose in life. It is in Him that I seek definition, for the things of this world are wasteful.

I often look to the Cross not only as a symbol of His sacrifice for the sake of my sin but also as a saving grace in my deepest of wounds. It represents His healing in my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Christ's spiritual band-aid to my soul. We often become wounded in life in all areas of our existence. The default response is to numb our pain with more pain. We turn to the failing remedies of this world. Drugs, alcohol, sex and money do not repair the pain. All these things accomplish is to further prolong our suffering. There is a joy in the Lord that can only be experienced through faith and forgiveness.

I have been going to my local church more than ever lately, at least twice a week. I desire His presence more than ever in my life. I cannot express the spiritual rejuvenation He can bring if you only submit to it. I have many obstacles in my life right now I need to overcome. I am not in a place of perfection by any means. It is in my desperation that I seek His will in my life. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

If you are in a crisis, if you need direction, if all your attempts to make a change in your life have failed, if you desperately seek a brighter future... seek first the Kingdom of God. I cannot in words express the joy of knowing that life has a higher purpose, we are not here for our own prestige and social status, we are not here for a earthly legacy, we do not exist to die, we are here glorify the Lord and we are here to live for Him; forever. Search your heart, if you find a void or an emptiness that seems impossible to fill, let me tell you now that your right. It is impossible for you to fill. It exists for a higher consumption. It is for the Holy Spirit to invade your life and live within you. I have been filled and I tell you from personal experience that He continues to work on me from within. It is a daily walk with God and it is a constant maturity that never ends. As we grow and age physically, as we learn and seek education, as we prosper and earn promotion in our careers, we also must grow in the Spirit.


I hope that God can save your life as He has saved mine. I would be nothing without Him. If you're in the Miami, Florida area I have a church for you. It's called Trinity Church Miami. God can change your life. Try it, if you don't like it the world will take you back as quickly as it let you go... but if you like it, God will never let you go.




Monday, July 28, 2008

Ledger Legitimizes Epic Villian

The Dark Knight debuted this month and not only smashed box office records, but also created an Oscar buzz around the late Heath Ledger and his portrayal of the infamous villain, The Joker.

Up to this point in cinema history, in my opinion, no movie has portrayed a comic book based character with such humanity and depth like that of Ledger's performance.

Batman seems to always conjure up very cartoon like images, with a distinct separation from real life. You knew Gotham City was fictions and you had no doubt about the film's reality.

Director Christopher Nolan and his supporting cast took the Batman series and elevated it to an entirely new level. Now, as you sit in the theater watching Gotham City as depicted in the real streets of Chicago, you can't help but wonder if what you're watching isn't far from reality.

Heath Ledger took a comic book icon in The Joker and literally reinvented the role and owned it like no one else ever could. I had to personally watch this film three times to fully absorb the beauty and essence of Ledger's outstanding performance. 

It is one thing to portray a psychotic murder with make-up and another thing to give such a character a personality just as complex as the shades of purple and green that he adorns. Ledger not only lights up the screen with intense dialogue and mannerisms that give his role its flesh and bones, but he also exhibits a passion for the character that stay with you long after the credits roll.

This version of The Joker is so intense because it is so real. Someone like this can exist, has existed or is existing right now... perhaps in your own neighborhood. His very demeanor and outlook on humanity is very reminiscent of so many of the infamous convicted mass murders we have seen throughout history.

If that isn't enough to make Ledger's performance haunting enough, don't forget his sadistic disregard not only for everyone's life, but also for his own. He holds a loaded gun to his head while Harvey Dent, a.k.a. Two Face begins to squeeze the trigger. What is to decide his fate? The flip of a coin of course, to Joker's maniacal delight.

Every scene in this movie with the very mention or actual portrayal of the Joker had me on the edge of my seat. I never expected to witness such dimension in a comic book character. From The Joker's eerie view of society to his thought provoking renditions of his warped sense of humor.

After all, why so serious?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Humanity

We live in a world where the disparity of civilization has become so saturated with oblivion. We have become so desensitized by the plight of society that we fail to notice the despair in the world. We are a society driven by labels, symbols of status, significance and wealth. We don't buy clothes, we buy brands; we don't buy cars, we buy logos; we don't eat food, we eat locations. It's where we are, who we know and what we can afford or own that defines us... at least that what it seems...

Why is it that the biggest epicenters for big business in this world are also some of the largest havens for the poor? Is it coincidence or convenience? Why the enormous division of wealth? I know, its the age old dilemma, when there are rich there are also poor. I am not arguing for communism I am just wondering why we have become so nonchalant about this "inevitable" dispersion that the less fortunate are continuing to be more and more overlooked.

A man in a three piece business suit steps over a sleeping homeless man as if they were an downed power line... cautious yet unconcerned... and no one notices. If that same man were to trip instead of step, would bystanders help the business man up as he brushes off the dirt that has clung his suit or would they show concern for the man who sleeps with the same dirt.

I'm concerned. I don't want to become so desensitized like the rest of the world that I begin to step over other human beings as well. I want to acknowledge each and every human being I encounter as equal and with significant importance and prestige.

Sometimes I think that a mangled puppy would arouse more concern that a sick homeless individual. That thought troubles me.

Yet with all this said, I am not what I claim I want to be. I walk by most just like everyone else. I give a dollar here and there, and I even buy food for those less fortunate when I am in a good mood but that makes me no more moral than that guy in the three piece business suit.

We should serve others as we would like to be served. Treat others as we are treated... and not just when we are in a good mood or because our selfish ego needs to be stroked with an occasional good deed. I hope that I can grow and mature to the point that I don't simply step over the starving individual hoping for a miracle, but in some small way be a part of their miracle. 

I hope that someone will read this and pay it forward in some small way, some brief gesture of kindness that will have a ripple affect in the sea of life. If we each bought just one hamburger for one less fortunate individual each day, we could feed the world.

Rain

It was raining, it had been raining all week. I was standing just inside the double glass doors that lead into the side entrance of my office building. I stood there watching the world just outside of those windowpanes as the rain fell. I would occasionally take a moment from work to go to this spot to just think and contemplate things… so I wouldn’t altogether lose touch of the world around me as I starred at a computer monitor for ten hours a day.

As I stood there, I noticed a man walking casually in the rain. He caught my eye because he was the only one walking as the puddles of rain gathered around his every step. The man was in his mid-thirties and he carried only a rolled up straw mat beneath his right arm. The man’s white cotton t-shirt was so saturated by the rain that it stuck to the man’s body. It was obvious this man had been in the rain for quite awhile, quite a lifetime. Regardless of the weather, the storm above his head and the bigger storms in his very life, this man still walked with a somewhat sly smile on his face.

As the man walked toward the glass doors he gestured toward me while pointing at an umbrella lying on the sidewalk. I shook my head “no” to deny ownership. The man eagerly bent over to claim the discarded umbrella but as he examined it he quickly realized it no longer functioned, as it should. The man still tossed the lifeless umbrella over his head as the tattered fabric draped over his face without any rigidity.

It was that moment that struck me. It hit me so emotionally that I felt it physically. As he stood there, briefly with a broken, tattered umbrella hanging off his head covering his face with a droopy despair... he didn't walk away immediately. This man took a moment and I wondered as he pondered... what this man was thinking. 

He stood there. The rain fell around him as he stood there. The black remnants of the umbrella barely protected the man from the elements, yet it somehow seemed to ease his suffering in some humble, beautiful way... as he stood there.

The man eventually walked off with an invigorated saunter, as if he just won a prize. I leaned onto the inner railing of the glass door and placed my forehead on the glass pane as I began to feel short of breath. As I forced himself to take deeper breaths to compensate, fog began to accumulate beneath my nose on the glass. 

I began to feel a deep regret, a sorrow in the very deepest fiber of my soul, my heart. This wasn’t the first time I felt like this… quite often I have felt the pain of a suffering world. The moment, regardless of its intensity always seems to fade away as I manage to move on with my life. You see it takes a sensitive person to feel for someone but it takes a courageous person to act on that very feeling. I wasn’t as courageous as I wished I were.

I turned away from the doors and walked slowly down the hallway towards the elevator to my office. The button lit up beneath my finger as I held it there to go up to the third floor. The doors shook open and I looked into my own reflection as the mirrored interior of the elevator waited for me to enter. I stood in the elevator doorway and braced myself with one hand on the left while digging in my pocket for nothing in particular with my right. 

I starred at myself briefly, yet long enough to seem as if I was waiting for a response. I eventually looked downward, entered, spun around to face the elevator doors and pushed 3. Back to work.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End



"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" is the third installment of the wildly successful Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. These movies have even been compared to Star Wars in regards to the story, characters and fan base.

I enjoyed this movie, but I must admit I didn't fully begin to enjoy it until well into the film. The first scenes with the introduction of Captain Sao Feng, and the meeting that follows and the hanging of accused pirates starts the film off very nicely by setting a tone for the current circumstances that will follow. Then I got lost in "Davy Jones's Locker" and the multiple character angles; the overall story got very convoluted and incoherent. I got reeled back in with the action mid-way and highly impressive special effects.

The story gets very over involved with a chaotic mix of open ended events and character dilemmas and rivalries. Some of the earlier scenes feature a glimpse into the "afterlife" and display Captain Jack Sparrow in a Barron world of ice and nothing more than a ship wrecked delusion of multiple Jacks taunting the real Jack in a very surreal and kind of creepy fantasy illusion that left me confused. There are also crabs that transform into rocks and back again... by the way I will be reviewing the new Transformers movie soon as well.

Don't get me wrong there is enough eye candy in this film to keep you entertained with elaborate sets from Asia to the beautiful tropical seas of the Caribbean. Also the ships and special effects are dazzling. The overall acting is good, as in all of the films, and most of the characters are convincing and captivating... well most of them.

I found Johnny Depp's character fell a little flat in this one. I didn't feel as if Captain Jack Sparrow was having as much fun in this film as he had in the previous two. I mean in the last film he was running from cannibals and balancing for his life on a large water wheel while roaming the dense jungle... that's pretty fun.

Then there was this somewhat weird aspect of Tia Dalma (Calypso) as the most powerful being in the world which came out of nowhere. I mean it was obvious she had witch-like tendencies and powers, and it was obvious there was a definite connection and love story between her and Davy Jones... but the fact that she was the Queen of the Sea just seemed a little too far-fetched. And even so, when she is finally "released" from her human form she simply turns into hundreds of crabs and falls into the sea to eventually cause a big storm and a large whirlpool.

The big battle at the end, which I had anticipated from the trailer earlier this year, turned out to be nothing big at all. There is no battle, only a fight between three ships in the mist of a giant whirlpool. These scenes where fantastic, I admit... but I was still a little disappointed. My favorite scene in the movie takes place during this battle when one of the British ships is blasted with cannon balls from both the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl in a very "Matrixesque" slow motion scene surrounding Lord Cutler Becket with splinters and broken wood. "Shiver me Timbers!"

So what I am trying to say is that unfortunately this story was a little too lackluster for my tastes, although it was fun to watch just for the action alone. And I enjoyed the characters such as Davy Jones and Captain Balbosa. Overall I would recommend seeing it in the theatre, but don't get too wrapped up in the very intertwined and convoluted story. Just enjoy the visuals.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Shrek the Third Review


Following along with my summer reviews, I am now on my second film of the summer 2007 season.

I must say that usually whenever you have one good movie, spin-offs and sequels tend to fall short of the original, but "Shrek the Third" is the exception.

I loved this film as much as I loved the first two. It was just great from start to finish, I wouldn't change a thing. As much as I try to consider the fact that this is in the genre of a "kids movie," I can't help but enjoy all of the adult jokes tucked away in all the nooks and crannies of this wonderful movie. The story doesn't fall flat, as is the case with most sequels, and the movie isn't filled with lackluster "filler" material and scenes that only serve to meet the required allocated length. In other words, it was wonderfully written and had as much content and substance as its predecessors.

The animation is flawless, as with the first two. The comedy and chemistry between Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas is truly well blended and is carries through the entire movie. The addition of Justin Timberlake in this film as the new King of Far Far Away is a nice touch. There are also new characters such as Merlin, which are very funny and great additions to the movie. Shrek the Third definitely entertained me from beginning to end, and I look forward for more movies in the future.

Spiderman 3 Review


With summer 2007, comes long awaited Blockbusters, which may not blow your mind as much as you would expect.

I will interject my humble opinion on some of this summers best, or so-called "best."

I am starting with "Spiderman 3," which was the first official summer Blockbuster for 2007. Let me begin by saying that this film is worth seeing at the theater for its visual thrills and action. I do not regret spending the $9 to go see it. I do regret, on the other hand, the decisions behind the story and plot of this movie.

I would first off like to state that I think this movie made one big critical mistake, the same mistake Joel Schumacher made in "Batman and Robin." The mistake is simple, and in this case, I believe was made because Sam Raimi wanted to please too many people all at the same time. The mistake is incorporating way too many elements in regards to villains, internal conflicts and overall dilemmas into one film. "Batman and Robin" had many, many flaws but also suffered greatly due to this type of mistake as well. Incorporating Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bain... and throwing in Batgirl, just makes a big mess of things.

In S3, there was so much material at the director's disposal, that could have easily made for a great movie, just like the first two films. The story, internal conflicts and drama of Venom alone, could have made one hell of a movie... unfortunately they throw in an over-emotional Sandman from out of nowhere and a very incomplete conclusion to the whole Harry Osborn (Goblin) storyline. The Osborn storyline has been a staple in these movies from the very start, and easily gets lost in this film.

If I had directed S3, I would have eliminated the need for the Sandman, and would have focused on Harry Osborn's transition to the "New Goblin," and also balanced a intertwined storyline with Venom. Osborn never even becomes the Hobgoblin or any Goblin for that matter. His father's story was so brilliantly demonstrated in S1, with the Green Goblin, yet in this film Harry never even adorns a new costume or anything that shows any transition into a Goblin besides his hoverboard and some left over pumpkin bombs. The Hobgoblin is a staple in the Spiderman comics, and is never born in this movie.

I would have established Harry's transition while also showing Peter's transition with the "mysterious black substance," which is never named, although all true Spiderman fans know it as "symbiote." I would also like to note that I would have shown Peter's transition without the over-done dramatics in the bar with MJ. I would have also not have killed off both Harry and Venom so quickly. If no more movies are planned for the future than do not ruin the story just for closure. Venom by far is one of Spiderman's greatest foe's and deserves much more respect than that pathetic display of weakness. Although, I do suspect that Venom, or at least the symbiote, could return in a future movie... if future movies are planned. Remember, there was a part of the symbiote with Parker's professor, as he was studying it.

Overall, it was some nice eye candy, but very disappointing when it comes to an end.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Moments in Time



Three minutes and four seconds after 2:00 a.m. on the 6th of May this year (this Sunday), the time and date will be 02:03:04 05/06/07. This will never happen again.... ever.